Been Thinking Real Hard Lately.

Pretty deep conversation, hope you dont mind if I wade in….

Something happened years ago that really affected my view on life in general. During my time as military police we got a call from a young woman’s command that she had not shown up for muster that morning and had been UA for several hours, as it was early afternoon. They asked that we send a unit to her off base apartment and see if she was there, although phone calls made her home number went unanswered. When a unit got there (not myself) he discovered her dead in her shower, water still running. An autopsy determined she had died of a sudden heart attack.

She was 20 years old and in near perfect health. I knew her by sight (bases are small worlds, after all) and mostly remember her by seeing her running all the time.

This really brought home the mortality thing for me, and it stuck. We weren’t friends, had never spoken past a “hello” or “good morning” in passing but her passing really brought home the concept that it could happen at any time and we should make the most of the time given.

I still get caught up in the rat race, on occasion, and still see new and shiny things that make my hands itch for the wanting. I try daily to remind myself of what is truly important to me; family, both blood and chosen, and trying to make my little corner of the world a better place.

Anyway, that’s me. I will never be wealthy in a material sense and really don’t want to be. As long as Mrs. J and my kid think I am still cool and they are provided for, I’m really not too bothered by the rest.

Something I have heard on occaision and I remember seeing it in the Book of Proverbs, though worded a bit differently: The more you have, the more you have to lose.

We lost several friends in the corps. I definitely had to get comfortable with death. Before our deployment we lost half a team in a helo crash off coronado during our SOC Qual. Most of those guys were force recon and about as tough as they come. A corps man was lost with them as well, great guy, my wife worked in the same doctors office as his wife did. They both sent their husbands off and went to work and her husband didn’t come home. Pretty shitty. A guy I worked right across from every day went through the hell hole when the bird flipped over and came out unscathed, the seals were right there and grabbed him into their rib boat. That was great. You never know.

I wasn’t a believer then. I didn’t really know how to process it. Just kind of accepted/blocked me it, we all knew it was always possible, and kept moving.

My third daughter born 6 weeks ago almost didn’t make it. She was touch and go for about 12 days and had to go on a heart lung bypass and all kinds of treatment. As hard as that was, I can’t imagine going through that as a non believer. It would have ripped me apart.

Wow, I’m way far away from where this post started…see what this song does to me.

I’m glad she’s home and we’ll too. Your thoughts are appreciated.

It pretty much had the same affect on me.

She is perfect, truly many blessings in that experience. For those that pray, keep the nicu patients and the staff in your prayers. They have many tough days and few good ones.

Many families there are from out of town and it’s tough on the whole family for one parent to stay there. Mom is recovering from either child birth or surgery and dads either working or with the other kids at home. Plus many kids there are not going to fully recover amd the parents have to not only mentally face that, but setup for it as well.

Very special place.

Yeah, I think mindset is the top prep so this seems relevant to me. I can assure you there was no shortage of tears in our room. Sure my wife cried for a week solid but I definitely did my fair share and every injury I have ever had all hurt again, I felt 80 years old. When they made the decision to put her on the heart/lung bypass I was physically in shock. I mean my blood pressure dropped and I had slowed motor responses, I thought I might pass out. I had to focus to stay conscious. Definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. My wife still cries a couple times a day, even though the baby is good now. It’s tough to be helpless and watch your kid in such a bad spot.

I do appreciate the kind words. God is good, looking back he had prepared us for the situation and carried us through it. I helped a friend deal with the loss of his daughter several years back and thinking through the theological aspects before this event helped me to focus on other things rather than be angry or blame God.

Your absolutely right my friend. A lot of people have not been through real shit. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’ve been with my wife 20 years total 17 married. I was completely devastated losing my daughter that I was just meeting. It’s hard to comprehend losing my wife. Thank you for taking the time to share with us. I appreciate learning from others experience.