Dressing the Part (Common Sense Gray Man)

All warfare is based on deception ~ Sun Tzu

Lots of articles on the gray man concept, in the 8 years I’ve been blogging here I’m quite sure I’ve written an article on the topic but am too lazy to go back and search and quite honestly over the last decade my views have probably adjusted / improved.   For those of you who might be wondering what gray man is, quite simply it’s blending in.  You aren’t the guy at a wedding in swim trunks or the guy on the beach in a tuxedo and bow tie.  Typically one would like to blend in so as not to draw attention to one’s self which works particularly well for those of us who don’t like attention.  I’ve been in plenty of places where people are like, “are you / have you been in the military?” I outright lie and say, “sorry, that’s not me.”  I don’t want the attention, the conversation or quite frankly people in some airport bar to know anything about me.  For those who have a problem with lying for the right reason maybe now is a good time to log off and go seek some other venue to scroll through because I do it strategically quite often, my life is definitely not an open book and misleading strangers for my best interest comes with the territory.

All that stated I have several “looks” depending on where I’m going, I spoke to my buddy who works with another training organization and one of their colleagues advocates checking google earth for what the locals wear prior to traveling.  Before I get into that sequence what I do think is ridiculous are the typical types standing out like a sore thumb in the wrong places.  Picture the American flag hat, camo backpack with velcro stickers, 5.11 gear, some ridiculous Spartan T shirt and hiking boots while in the international section of the airport.  You can’t see me rolling my eyes but I do every time, how much self awareness do these idiots have at any one time?  Answer: zero.  How much gut do they have protruding over their belt line?  Answer: All of it…but I digress.

The Airport / Travel Guy

Keeping it real, I’m that backwards hat / flat brim guy with mirrored Oakley’s and a snowboarding T shirt on.  Comfortable pants and probably some Vans sneakers along with my headphones in.  In my backpack I’ve got all the allowable trauma stuff including sat communication devices and many other things but from the outside looking in I’m regular guy.  I talk to people when I can and tell them that I snowboard for a living (people always ask what you do for a living) or that I’m in logistics or some other ambiguous career field.  It never ceases to amaze me how people open up to complete strangers and tell them everything except their home address and alarm code after a 15 minute interaction.

Road Trip Guy

Today I returned from a 30 hour road trip which took me through Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona.  The trip was generally uneventful with the exception of popping caffeine pills, a foot of snow in some places, deer jumping in front of my truck and bad food at gas stations.  That stated I purposely dressed to be rather forgetful but also not sloppy in the event I happened to interact with law enforcement.  I indeed had on my American flag hat, some low key but recognizable tactical pants and a shirt which showcased my sleeve tattoo (instantly recognizable as military).   Think: Hey brother thanks for letting me know and how long have you been with ___ highway patrol?

Him: Where you headed?

Me: Give a leadership presentation to….

When I wore a jacket outside it was the everyman Carhartt that most wear, I actually love that coat and have had it for many years.

Side note, while I was typically rolling 90-95 mph most of the way and I do take into account the possibility of getting a ticket.  Maybe it’s $100, $500.  Cost of doing business – charge it to the game.

Presentation / Serious Guy

I should note that the reason for my road trip was that I had to present to some folks in a city far far away about various topics and which also involved me wearing a suit (no tie of course, because this isn’t 1995).  That being said I had a tailored suit on with my IFAK on my ankle and “necessary” items in a backpack about 5 feet from my while I presented.  There is a certain amount of legitimacy in looking the part and had I rolled in there in some 5.11 gear and a tactical hat they would have been like who in the actual F is this dude?  Hence, suit and spitting game to all the executives who are nodding in agreement.

Daily Duties Guy

Normal circumstances I’m in some completely forgettable slacks which are usually sold from one of many various tactical distributors.  Maybe a 3/4 zip pullover or a lightweight coat from REI and some reasonable shoes or low key boots.  Again something completely forgettable and which also blends in with the environment in which I typically operate.

Final Thoughts

Maybe you are hardcore MURICA / VETERAN guy.  Gotta wear that black hat with the ribbon rack on it while in the post exchange food court.  Good for you, just know everyone else knows that as well – especially out in the general public who does not give a single F about how many deployments overseas you might have.  FWIW I don’t tell anyone who I am (I lie about that also) where I’ve been or what I do and I also dress in a manner where I’m typically completely forgettable.  What’s your name ?  Fake name.  What do you do?  Fake job.  Where are you from ? Fake state / town.

Do what you have to do but understand that people are watching and some do not have the best intentions.  Trusting everyone and not having the capacity to engage in ambiguous or misleading conversations is definitely a detriment.  This is chess, not checkers – consider it.  Good luck.